Peace.

A word repeated everyday. It seems like everyone wants peace, and they say they all want justice. But I am not here to criticise them. I am here to criticise you Eby.

It’s meaningless what we all want. It’s like telling someone you love them and cheating on them and lying to them and hurting them. You preach about how you can overcome conflict, how you can fight through hate and yet your methods look ridiculous. You fight fire with fire. You burn so bright that you don’t only burn yourself but also everyone else around you. You need water to put the flames out my old woman.

Your mind is confused with the amount of time you spend on thinking about ways to change the world, all the while ignoring the world inside of you that is crashing and collapsing.

You say it. You want to be a good person. You repeat this to me every night. You say you want justice in the world and wake up every morning and do nothing.
Yes I am talking about you. No one else. Only you Ebrar.

You who writes songs and ballads and stories over this, you who screams at the television as you see the world crumbling around you. You who hates injustice and yet when a situation like that arises, you who doesn’t stand up. You who hates herself and tries to love others.
You who is afraid to stand up because you will be criticised. Afraid of dictators. Afraid of society.

You are a coward.

You are selfish.

You are ignorant.

You want to know why? Because if you truly wanted peace you would have worked for it. You would have been delighted at the idea of someone smiling. You would have been content with the way you can eat three meals, even more than that, in a day. You would have been at peace with the rain, with the soil, with the cellulite, with the imperfections.
And yet you are a liar. To me.
You complain about how you couldn’t buy those shoes you liked so much.
You listen to profane things, watch unseeable things that destroys your soul piece by peace. You want to be, you try your very best to be emotionless, unfeeling and inhuman. You are a coward because you are afraid of emotions.
You are afraid of crying because it makes you vulnerable. You are frightened at the idea of loving yourself because it makes you feel like you are a narcissist.
You aren’t at peace at all so how can you achieve it? How can you even try?
You always repeat that line in your head “Be the change you want to see in the world” and yet all you have inside you is empty promises, and sameness. That stubbornness you have against change is what disrupts your mind. You speak the word ‘peace’ all the while your mind is a war zone with dark flags of hate planted in plain sight. Because you can’t forgive and you most certainly can’t forget. You don’t want to.
You hate yourself.
And because of that you hate other people. You look around and you see death, hopelessness and injustice with innocent people being treated unfairly. But in the end you believe no one is innocent.
You hate human beings at their cruelty and their violent ways, you hate that you are made of that too, and you hate yourself for being selfish.
Thats what holds you back.
Your cowardice.
Your pain.
And your hate.

And you cry over it every night, sometimes without tears, with a bleeding heart maybe and you bury it in your sorrow and put a mask of confusion and uncertainty.

 

Worry not my old woman. I am not judging you, I am merely telling you, outloud, the things you turn a deaf ear to because it annoys you to act like you care, while you actually don’t. And that’s the problem.

You are being unfair to your existence. My dear, you were meant to be emotional. You were meant to be in love with humanity, you were meant to believe and hope and care and live. You were meant to hurt and learn from it, you were meant to get heartbroken only to love again, you were meant to forgive and forget. You were most certainly meant to be human.
I mean look at you. Look at your perfection. Look at your beauty. Look at your mind and your dreams and your hopes. Your strength and the beauty of your smile. You might not believe you deserve it but you do.
You deserve every bit of peace that this world keeps talking so much about. The peace that everyone is trying to achieve on the outside while they don’t have it on the inside.

You can cry for the mistakes of others. You can cry for your own mistakes.
Just be at peace.
Just be fair.
Love and love and love.
For hate is strong but love is stronger.

Remember the fight against the fire? Love is the water and the ashes that remain are nothing other than the beginning of peace.

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I am weird. *smiles sadly*


21 Comments » for Peace on the inside
  1. Bahati says:

    That is a powerful message. It’s very deed.. it touched me.. nice

    • Ebrar Tarhan says:

      I am glad you like it sweetheart ????

      • Cherilynn says:

        Thanks for your helpful article. One other problem is that meslohetioma is generally the result of the inhalation of materials from asbestos fiber, which is a carcinogenic material. It really is commonly viewed among individuals in the building industry with long exposure to asbestos. It is caused by moving into asbestos insulated buildings for years of time, Your age plays a crucial role, and some persons are more vulnerable for the risk compared to others.

    • Lyndall says:

      That’s too bad! Cleomes are so unique! Thr#8y&217;ee good cut flowers, but some people are sensitive to the smell. I hope you can find out what’s wrong so you can replant them.

  2. Aisha Tumala says:

    Such a masterpiece of writing!

  3. Shelly says:

    This is the most amazing thing i have ever read ???? So proud of you ebby ???? Love , xoxo

    • Ebrar Tarhan says:

      Love you too very much

    • Dell says:

      We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your site offered us with useful info to paintings on. Yo#87&21u;ve done an impressive activity and our entire group might be grateful to you.

  4. Maha Ibrahim says:

    Truly an exceptional piece.. really makes you think. Keep it up ????

    • Ebrar Tarhan says:

      You are the best truly ????

      • Philinda says:

        Que a (JACJ) nesse momento esteja pensando em mim , (JACJ) querendo a todo custo estar ao meu lado , querendo me ver , me abraçar e me beijar , que sua boca sinta muita vontade de me beijar e que em sua mente só tenha a minha presença que (JACJ) me procure ainda hoje me chamando para ficar ao seu lado e dizendo que me ama e que tomou a decisão certa e deiasftivi.Asnim seja!

    • Martha says:

      Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a number of unrelated intanmofior, nevertheless definitely really worth taking a search, whoa did one master about Mid East has got far more problerms also

  5. Hauwa says:

    That’s a nice piece.. Love it ???? and keep it up

    • Ebrar Tarhan says:

      Hope I can be better thank you ????

      • Kassi says:

        Me parece muy bueno el programa! Pero no me deja descargar más de un cierto número de mensajes privados que tengo con un mismo usuario, me refiero a que tengo 1500 mensajes con una persona pero no me descarga más de 30083&2#0;

    • Maralynn says:

      up, is the big kid done throwing all his baby teeth? Cause my big kid is older than yours and he is still losing teeth. They are wiggly forever before they fall out! He’s lost 3 or 4 in the last 6 months and has another loose one now that isn#28&17;t ready to come out yet.

  6. Zubair Ahmadi says:

    You should be proud head.That’s a nice piece.
    I love piece…..????????????????????????????

    • Tuesday says:

      Oh, doubtless there are any number of holes and cospeertxamnleu, it just struck me that it’s a particular positive character trait that could go bad in ways that fit with a fair few specific cases.

  7. Kayli says:

    3 times. Once in IMAX, twice in the regular theater. I think th2#at8&17;s all I’m gonna see it. I’ve had my fill, and I’m ready to wait for the DVD. Plus there are other things coming out that I want to see, and I’d like to save my money for them.

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